This article contains an example of persuasive writing: are celebrities good role models for young people? In addition, it contains some annotations with tips for students to follow the progress of the piece, and some of the devices included.
The speech isn’t perfect by any stretch! It is a combination of my ideas and some student work, and so it might give ‘middle aged mummy’ vibes rather than feeling like the authentic voice of a teenager. Nonetheless, I think it’s helpful for students to see how to structure a piece of persuasive writing and to use language devices to persuade the audience.
For more on teaching persuasive writing, read this blog post, and download my free Persuasive Writing Guide for students.
This is a sample answer for the CCEA GCSE English Language Unit 1 Task 1 from January 2019.
Write a speech for your classmates persuading them to agree with you on the topic: “Are celebrities the best role models for teenagers?”
Friends, classmates, fellow scrollers in the snap-tweet-gram-osphere, gather round and lend me your ears! Today, I stand before you to present the truth on a topic that often stirs debate: “Are celebrities the best role models for teenagers?” Let us dive into the depths of this discussion and explore why I believe they might not always be the shining beacons of inspiration that they are made out to be, and that we must find our own way in the world. Sit up and pay attention because the next three minutes will convince you that you are worth more than fangirling over these fake and fiendish figures.
Tips:
Greet your audience (remember, this task is class ‘writing for purpose and audience’.
‘lend me your ears’ is from Shakespeare’s ‘Julius Caesar’ … you can use and recycle famous phrases to hook your listeners.
Use alliteration with intention to create sound effects (dive/depths/discussion, fangirling/fake/fiendish figures).
Tips:
Use a signpost at the start of your paragraphs to signal a new idea in your argument (first and foremost).
‘Let’s ponder this:’ invites the listeners in to the discussion. Following it up with a question (‘what makes a role model truly exceptional?’) creates a point of engagement for them.
Use imagery (‘guiding us through the maze of everyday challenges’) to paint a picture for the audience.
First and foremost, let’s ponder this: what makes a role model truly exceptional? Is it someone who lives a life far removed from our own realities, splashing their extravagant escapades across glossy magazines? Is it someone who was born into a rich or famous family? Is it someone who has the perfect body, hair and skin? Or is it someone who walks beside us, guiding us through the maze of everyday challenges? I dare say the latter holds more weight.
Tips:
Help the audience to grasp the reality of your point of view with a personal story/anecdote. Make it emotive and specific so that it really persuades your listeners that you know what you are talking about.
“Let me fast forward …’ is a nice structural device to avoid rambling on too much. It holds the listeners’ attention by helping them to follow the organisation of your speech.
Link back to the topic at the end of a long point, to show the examiner that you are still focused and to remind the listener what to think.
Year 11, let me tell you about my friend Jessica. We’ve been best friends since nursery school and she is truly a beautiful person, inside and out. Every major experience of my life so far has been enriched by her presence. But when we began P7, Jessica got a phone and I think that was the turning point. She secretly signed up for Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok; her parents wouldn’t allow her to join, but she always finds a way to get what she wants! Jessica followed all her favourite pop stars and celebrities.
Let me fast forward another year to the end of first year … Jessica had changed her hair, she had stopped eating healthily and, in my opinion, was only a fraction of the person she used to be. She was obsessed with looking like, talking like and acting like Kylie Jenner. And it ruined her life! In the end, Jessica had to miss a month of school and get hospital treatment at only twelve years old because of the issues created by her obsession with her celebrity ‘role model’.
Does this story shock you? Have you experienced anything similar? Jessica is now much healthier, but I hope her story makes you sit up and take notice! Celebrities are not good role models for young people!
Instead of fixating solely on the glittering allure of celebrities, let’s turn our gaze toward the unsung heroes in our own lives. Our parents, siblings, teachers, and community members — these are the individuals who have shaped us, nurtured our growth, and celebrated our victories. They are the ones who offer advice, lend a listening ear, and teach us the importance of integrity and resilience.
Tips:
Use triplets (groups of three words or three phrases) to create flow in your sentences e.g. ‘shaped us, nurtured our growth, and celebrated our victories’.
Tips:
Use a quote from an expert to support your opinion. This makes you sound more reliable, and therefore helps to convince the listeners.
Experts in child psychology have echoed this sentiment. Dr. Michelle Anthony, renowned child development expert, posits that a true role model should possess qualities such as kindness, empathy, and honesty. These traits are not necessarily guaranteed in the world of celebrity culture, where the emphasis often lies on material possessions and superficial appearances. So, my friends, let us not be swayed by the smoke and mirrors of fame.
Now, picture this: You’re facing a tough decision, unsure of which path to take. Who would you rather turn to for guidance? The glamorous starlet who dazzles on the silver screen or your best friend who has weathered storms and shared your joys? Come on Year 11. I know you know the answer! Kylie Jenner doesn’t care about your GCSE choices. Erling Haaland isn’t going to help you with your Maths homework. KSI isn’t going to respond to your love-life dilemma. The real role models in our lives will though. The friends, teachers, grandparents, aunts and older cousins will help, support and guide you. They will give you good advice and be there to comfort your in hard times. These people are the role models. These people are the ones you should look up to. These people are the ones who should command your love and attention.
Tips:
‘Picture this’ is a lovely phrase to invite your listeners in to the topic and paint a picture for them. They become more engaged by imagining something for themselves.
Use repetition at the start of a series of sentences (These people … /These people …/These people …). This is called anaphora and is very easy to include but very effective in the art of persuasion.
Tips:
Include a counter argument. This shows that you are not naive – you know that there are other ways of looking at the topic, but they are not as accurate as your opinion. Make sure you don’t end up agreeing with the other side. Convince your listeners by spinning the other argument round so that it sounds weak and inadequate.
Now, I know that some of you will disagree, saying that celebrities have achieved fame and fortune through talent and hard work. These are admirable qualities indeed! And while I agree with you to a point, I have to point out the obvious problem: admiring someone at the very top of their game and aspiring to be like them can surely only lead you to disappointment, feelings of inadequacy and a spiral of self-doubt. These celebrities spend money we can’t even imagine, and have a team of people working very hard to make it all look effortless. This is not something that us teenagers can mimic. When we try to live like a celebrity, we fail. Friends, don’t set yourself up for failure in this way. Aspirations are great, but they have to be realistic, otherwise you will fall for the falsehoods that social media push on us.
So, Year 11, let my words linger in your mind like a sweet melody. I want you to repeat after me: substance over style, authenticity over illusion, and sincerity over spectacle. Remember, my dear classmates, we have the power to forge our own destinies, to carve our own paths, guided by those who truly inspire us in the truest sense of the word.
Tips:
Keep referring to your audience by their name or collective name. This holds their attention and reminds the examiner that you are still fully focused on the task.
Tips:
Include a call to action. This gives the listeners a motivation to do something specific, making them more likely to remember and agree with your point of view.
In conclusion, while celebrities may have their merits and entertain us in various ways, let us not rush to crown them as the epitome of role models for impressionable teenagers. Instead, let’s turn to the everyday heroes who surround us, those whose footsteps we can genuinely follow and whose values align with our own aspirations. By focusing on genuine connections and genuine examples of integrity, we can shape a future that reflects the very best of our own hearts and minds. Think of a person in your life who you respect and admire. Turn your attention away from celebrities and towards someone much closer to home. Now learn from them.
So, my friends, I implore you to embark on this journey with open minds and open hearts. Together, let us champion the true heroes, both seen and unseen, who inspire us to be the very best versions of ourselves. Thank you for lending me your ears, and may our collective wisdom guide us toward a brighter, more authentic future!
Tips:
Finish with a flourish! Try to sound confident, clear and persuasive at the end with a few more devices: triplets, positive language and a repetition of the opening quote, ‘lend me your ears’.
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