Before You Were Mine by Carol Ann Duffy is a eulogy to the poet’s late mother. In the poem, the speaker imagines her mother’s life before she became a parent, looking at old photographs of a young and vibrant woman, and considers what she must have given up to become a mother.
This study guide is written for students and teachers of English Literature, particularly those studying CCEA’s GCSE English Literature Relationships Anthology. For more study guides from this anthology, check out the Relationships page, or the list of poems in the series at the bottom of this guide. If you are studying one of the other anthologies in the CCEA Literature course, check them out here: IDENTITY Anthology or CONFLICT Anthology.
Before You Were Mine
I’m ten years away from the corner you laugh on
with your pals, Maggie McGeeney and Jean Duff.
The three of you bend from the waist, holding
each other, or your knees, and shriek at the pavement.
Your polka-dot dress blows round your legs. Marilyn.
I’m not here yet. The thought of me doesn’t occur
in the ballroom with the thousand eyes, the fizzy, movie tomorrows
the right walk home could bring. I knew you would dance
like that. Before you were mine, your Ma stands at the close
with a hiding for the late one. You reckon it’s worth it.
The decade ahead of my loud, possessive yell was the best one, eh?
I remember my hands in those high-heeled red shoes, relics,
and now your ghost clatters toward me over George Square
till I see you, clear as scent, under the tree,
with its lights, and whose small bites on your neck, sweetheart?
Cha cha cha! You’d teach me the steps on the way home from
Mass, stamping stars from the wrong pavement. Even then
I wanted the bold girl winking in Portobello, somewhere
in Scotland, before I was born. That glamorous love lasts
where you sparkle and waltz and laugh before you were mine.
What is 'Before You Were Mine' all about?
Stanza 1
In verse one, the speaker imagines her mother as a young woman (ten years before the speaker was born), depicting her laughing with her friends, Maggie McGeeney and Jean Duff, on a street corner. It seems as if the speaker is examining an old photograph and describes what she sees: they are carefree and full of life, shrieking with laughter as they hold each other. The image of her mother’s polka-dot dress blowing around her legs evokes a sense of glamour, likening her to Marilyn Monroe.
Stanza 2
In verse two, she imagines her mother’s youthful nights out, surrounded by possibilities and excitement, where the right circumstances could lead to fun and exciting outcomes. The speaker acknowledges that she did not exist in these carefree times, where her mother’s late nights were worth any scolding from her own mother (the speaker’s grandmother).
Stanza 3
In the third verse, the speaker considers the decade before her birth and wonders if those past years were the best years of her mother’s life. She recalls playing with her mother’s high-heeled red shoes, symbols of her mother’s former glamour, but now the lively young woman her mother once was feels like a distant memory—a ‘ghost’. The mother seems almost like a different person, someone who danced, sparkled, and enjoyed life freely before she became a parent. The picture sparks a vivid experience in which the speaker can almost smell and see her mother come alive in her vibrant past, and wishes she could have known her then.
Stanza 4
In the final stanza, the speaker’s imaginings have moved on a decade into the speaker’s own living memories. She remembers her childhood walks home from Mass, being taught dance steps by her mother. This memory, of her mother full of life and ‘sparkle’, is what lives on for the speaker in her memory since her mother’s death.
Context of 'Before You Were Mine'
Carol Ann Duffy's life, education and career
Carol Ann Duffy is a 20th and 21st Century Scottish poet.
Born in 1955, her early years were spent in the Gorbals, a working-class area of Glasgow. At six years old, she moved with her parents (of Irish descent) to Stafford, England. As a child, she developed a deep love for literature and poetry, and this early exposure to the power of words and storytelling significantly shaped her future career as a writer.
At 16, Duffy moved to Liverpool and began a ten-year relationship with then 39-year-old Liverpudlian poet Adrain Henri. She says of him:
“He gave me confidence … he was great. It was all poetry, very heady, and he was never faithful. He thought poets has a duty to be unfaithful.”
from The Times article of 5th September 2005, by Jeanette Winterson
Duffy’s love of literature was fostered and encouraged by her school teachers and her ten year relationship with Henri, along with the poets, writers and artists she mixed with during that decade. She studied philosophy at the University of Liverpool and went on to earn a master’s degree.
Throughout her life, Duffy has been open about her sexuality and has been an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights. Her personal relationships have also influenced her work, particularly her long-term partnership with fellow poet Jackie Kay, with whom she lived and raised children between 1991 and 2005. Duffy’s personal experiences, emotions, and reflections often find their way into her poetry, lending it a deeply personal and relatable quality.
If you enjoyed this poem, check out some of Duffy’s other poems in these ThinkLit study guides:
Duffy's career achievements
Duffy boasts a remarkable body of work that has earned her critical acclaim throughout her career. Her debut collection, “Standing Female Nude” (1985), contributed significantly to her rise to the poetry scene, attracting attention for its sharp wit and feminist perspectives. Over time, her evocative and thought-provoking poetry has continually captivated readers.
Notably, in 2009, Duffy made history by becoming the first female, as well as the first openly gay Poet Laureate in the United Kingdom, a highly respected position she held until 2019.
Throughout her career, Duffy has been the recipient of numerous awards, including the T.S. Eliot Prize, the Costa Book Award, and the Queen’s Gold Medal for Poetry.
Context of 'Before You Were Mine'
In Before You Were Mine, Carol Ann Duffy reflects on her relationship with her mother, Mary (May Black), who was a lively, independent woman before Duffy was born. Duffy was born in 1955 in Glasgow, Scotland, and grew up in a working-class family. Her mother, Mary, was from a Catholic background and had a youthful, carefree spirit in her younger years, enjoying dancing and socialising with friends in the 1940s and early 1950s. Duffy’s portrayal of her mother’s pre-parenthood life contrasts sharply with the more subdued and responsible role she took on after Duffy’s birth.
Duffy’s admiration for her mother’s earlier life is clear in the poem, particularly in the imagery of her mother laughing and enjoying herself with friends. Duffy has spoken in interviews about how her mother’s vibrant personality and strong sense of self were key influences in shaping her own identity.
However, Duffy also recognises that with motherhood came sacrifice, as her mother’s focus shifted from carefree independence to caring for Duffy and the family. The poem highlights this transition, as Duffy reflects on the changes in her mother’s life and the impact those changes had on their relationship. The sense of loss and longing for the pre-parenthood version of her mother is central to the poem, capturing both the admiration and bittersweet emotions Duffy feels towards her mother’s past.
Line-by-line analysis
Title: Before You Were Mine
- The title immediately introduces the theme of relationships, with the pronouns ‘you’ and ‘mine’ showing the bond between the speaker and the listener.
- The use of the past tense verb “were” and the adverb “before” makes it clear that the speaker is remembering, or imagining a time in the past.
Stanza 1
I’m ten years away from the corner you laugh on
- The opening personal pronoun makes very clear that the speaker is reflecting on their own experiences, creating an honest tone and a positive rapport with the reader.
- The use of the direct address pronoun “you” creates a dialogue between the speaker and the, as yet unnamed, listener.
- Enjambment is used to run this line directly into the next, creating a sense of conversation and an informal tone.
- The reference to ‘corner’ is perhaps a metaphor for this stage of life in which a corner may be turned, from youth and freedom to adulthood and responsibility.
with your pals, Maggie McGeeney and Jean Duff.
- The colloquial term “pals” again creates a sense of informality and relatability.
- Naming the friends specifically with both first and surnames makes this poem feel very real, personal and honest. It also highlights the speaker’s mother’s youth and active social life.
The three of you bend from the waist, holding
- The image of the three girls is of a happy, relaxed and carefree scene.
- The speaker uses direct address throughout (‘The three of you’), making this elegiac and honest.
- The verb choice in this line, ‘bend’, and ‘shriek’ in the next line are high-energy actions that emphasise the exuberance and loudness of youth.
each other, or your knees, and shriek at the pavement.
- ‘Shriek’ uses onomatopoeia to convey the sound of laughter and youth.
- Enjambment which runs the previous line straight into this one creates the conversational, story-telling tone, and perhaps helps the reader to enter into the fictionalised, imagined world which verse two picks up. This is aided by the use of caesura twice in this line, creating short pauses at the commas, again supporting the conversational tone.
Your polka-dot dress blows round your legs. Marilyn.
- The ‘polka-dot dress’ evokes an image of 1950s glamour. The speaker’s mother is young and carefree, dressed for fun, as suggested in the polka-dots.
- The allusion to ‘Marilyn’ ie Marilyn Monroe, links the speaker’s mother clearly to this famous symbol of beauty, fashion and femininity. In the reference, the speaker’s love and admiration for her mother is clear.
- The isolation of ‘Marilyn’ in a sentence of its own creates informality, reflecting the ideas, memories and scattered thoughts of the speaker as she images who her mother had been before her birth.
Stanza 2
I’m not here yet. The thought of me doesn’t occur
- The pronoun ‘I’ intrudes here as a voice from the future, reminding the reader that no baby has even been imagined by the girl in the photograph.
- The speaker’s absence from the scene is interesting, as on one side, it highlights the distance between the speaker and her mother. On the other hand, the mention of the daughter before she has been born suggests that having a baby was always in the mother’s future, linking the two women’s stories together in time.
in the ballroom with the thousand eyes, the fizzy, movie tomorrows
- Mention of the ballroom evokes a sense of glamour and elegance, suggesting lively parties and fun.
- Hyperbole is used to exaggerate the number of people (‘the thousand eyes’) who would have stared at her due to her beauty.
- Synaesthesia is used in the adjective ‘fizzy’ which is a very sensory adjective often associated with taste, but here, with feeling (atmosphere of anticipation and excitement), as well as a visual of the fizzy/fuzzy movie screens of the 1950s black and white movies.
- Reference to movies romanticises the image of her mother, and along with the reference to Marilyn, further emphasises the speaker’s love and admiration for her mother.
the right walk home could bring. I knew you would dance
- The tone of this line is full of possibility and excitement, emphasising these youthful adventures.
- The adjective ‘right’ serves as an interesting counter to the idea that her mother’s life was somehow thrown off course by having a baby. Rather, the ‘right walk home’ could yield a romance, a future, a family, making a baby the fulfilment of a great time rather than the end of it.
like that. Before you were mine, your Ma stands at the close
- Enjambment is used again to run ideas together, emphasising these ‘memories’ or imaginings as a series of flashes or stream of consciousness.
- The poem’s title is referred to here, ‘Before you were mine’, with the possessive pronoun emphasising the possessive love of a child for her mother.
- This line holds reference to all three female generations in ‘you’, ‘mine’ and ‘your Ma’. These generational relationships were significant for Duffy (see the context section above, in which Duffy talks about her mother and her own daughter).
- The choice of ‘Ma’ emphasises the casual, colloquial tone of the poem, and the strong Glaswegian accent of Duffy’s childhood.
with a hiding for the late one. You reckon it’s worth it.
- ‘the late one’ is another description of the speaker’s mother which emphasises her youthful dalliances. ‘Hiding’ is another colloquial reference, referring to the discipline of a 1950s mother on her teen daughter who has stayed out too late.
- The caesura in the middle of the line allows a pause for the story to reach a dramatic height before the humorous conclusion that the fun was worth the consequence.
Stanza 3
The decade ahead of my loud, possessive yell was the best one, eh?
- The use of ‘loud, possessive yell’ shows the transition from mother’s earlier, more independent years to her new era of motherhood. The adjectives ‘loud’ and ‘possessive’ are strong descriptions, emphasising the all consuming demands of having a small child.
- The questioning tone of ‘eh?’ seems a forced attempt at being casual, perhaps reflecting the speaker’s guilt at having been the reason for forcing her mother’s change of lifestyle.
I remember my hands in those high-heeled red shoes, relics,
- At this point, the poem shifts from imagined scenes based on a photograph, to real memories of the speaker’s childhood.
- ‘High-heeled red shoes’ symbolise the glamorous and youthful phase of the mother’s life, echoing back to the reference to ‘Marilyn’ and ‘movies’ in the first half of the poem. Ironically, these ‘relics’ of a former life of fun and glamour are now a child’s toys and dress up game.
- ‘Relics’ emphasises the sense of loss and the past; the mother’s life is not longer what it was.
and now your ghost clatters toward me over George Square
- The allusion to George Square, a well-known area in Glasgow, provides a real-world location that grounds the speaker’s memories in a specific place.
- The verb choice ‘clatters’ is a vivid, unexpected verb, implying that the mother’s ghost is almost startlingly present in the speaker’s memories. Perhaps the clattering sound refers to the sound of high heels on the ground, as if the mother’s ghost takes the form of her lost youthful self from the photograph.
till I see you, clear as scent, under the tree,
- The simile ‘clear as scent’ creates a sensory image, suggesting that the memory of the mother’s youth is vivid and unmistakable. The clash between visual and olfactory imagery in this simile brings the ghost to life even more, helping the speaker make her mother’s memory more tangible.
with its lights, and whose small bites on your neck, sweetheart?
- The ‘small bites on your neck’ could evoke an intimate, romantic moment, emphasising the mother’s relationships before motherhood.
- The word ‘sweetheart’ is endearing and suggests tenderness, reinforcing the speaker’s deep admiration for her mother’s past. On the other hand, it could also be a somewhat patronising call out of her mother’s youthful dalliances! ‘Sweetheart’ is a commonly used pet name in Scotland, used for both genuine and less genuine terms of endearment.
Stanza 4
Cha cha cha! You’d teach me the steps on the way home from
- The onomatopoeia of ‘cha cha cha’ along with the exclamation mark highlight another shift in tone, from the ghost of the previous verse back to a more tangible memory of her mother teaching the speaker the steps to some of the dances from the ballrooms of her youth.
- ‘You’d teach me the steps’ suggests a close, intimate relationship between mother and daughter, sumbolising a shared connection through dance. This line also counters the idea that her mother gave up fun and joy for motherhood, but that rather, a new fun and friendship was found in motherhood.
Mass, stamping stars from the wrong pavement. Even then
- ‘Stamping stars’ is an evocative image, blending the mundane (pavement) with something extraordinary (stars), which enhances the sense of wonder and playfulness in the mother-daughter relationship.
- The reference to the pavement as ‘wrong’ contrasts to the ‘right walk home’ of verse two. Both images are of paths/streets, suggesting a metaphor for the choices made by her mother in life. The speaker seems to think that her mother made the wrong choice in having a child and giving up so much.
I wanted the bold girl winking in Portobello, somewhere
- ‘The bold girl winking’ evokes a sense of allure and independence, reinforcing the speaker’s admiration for her mother’s free-spirited youth, and the speaker’s regret that this once ‘bold girl’ has become a mother.
- Another geographical allusion grounds this poem in Duffy’s own history: Portobello is a district in Edinburgh and links Duffy’s mother’s youth to the speaker’s account, confirming this poem’s autobiographical form.
in Scotland, before I was born. That glamorous love lasts
- The time stamp “Before I was born” marks a distinct temporal boundary, emphasising the distance between the speaker’s existence and the memory of the mother’s earlier life. Yet these times are linked in how the speaker, even as a child, longed for her mother as she had been before motherhood.
- Alliteration in the repetition of the “l” sound in “love lasts” gives a lyrical quality, emphasising the lasting impression of the mother’s glamorous past. The long ‘l’ sound also draws out a tone of regret and longing for the speaker’s mum.
where you sparkle and waltz and laugh before you were mine.
- The triplet of lively verbs in ‘sparkle and waltz and laugh’ paints a vivid picture of the mother’s joyful, carefree nature. The verbs convey lightness, elegance, and happiness.
- The final repetition of ‘before you were mine’ frames the poem and underscores the theme of possessiveness and change. It suggests the moment when the mother’s life shifted from being her own to being centered around her child.
- The tone is bittersweet, mixing admiration for the mother’s past with a sense of loss for the woman she once was.
Analysis of form and structure
Verse structure
Before You Were Mine has a regular structure consisting of four verses, each with five lines (quintains). The consistent verse length gives the poem a steady, reflective rhythm.
A significant feature of the poem’s form and verse structure is the enaleptic frame: the poem starts with the speaker imagining a scene from her mother’s youth, long before the speaker was born. The poem shifts back and forth between the past (the mother’s youth) and the present (the speaker’s memories), using this enaleptic frame to contrast the carefree young woman her mother once was with the responsibilities of motherhood later on.
Rhyme
Before You Were Mine does not have a regular rhyme scheme. It is written in free verse, meaning there is no regular pattern of rhymes or a set meter. This lack of rhyme allows for a more natural, conversational tone, making the poem feel intimate and personal, as if the speaker is simply sharing memories and thoughts without the constraints of formal poetic structure.
By using free verse, Duffy creates a flowing rhythm that mimics the way memories and reflections move through the speaker’s mind. The absence of rhyme also helps emphasise the theme of the poem: the unpredictable nature of life and the changes that come with the passage of time.
Rhythm
Before You Were Mine is written in free verse: it does not have a regular pattern to either the poem’s rhyme scheme, rhythm or line length.
The lack of a strict metrical pattern gives the poem a conversational and reflective tone, as if the speaker is reminiscing freely. The irregular rhythm and line lengths help convey the fluid nature of memories and time, reinforcing the themes of nostalgia and the passage of time.
Themes in 'Before You Were Mine'
Mother-daughter relationship
The poem explores the complex bond between the speaker and her mother. There is a strong sense of love and admiration, but also an awareness of how the mother’s life changed once she became a parent. The speaker reflects on her mother’s carefree youth before the responsibilities of motherhood, suggesting a deep understanding and even a bit of guilt about how her arrival altered her mother’s life. The theme of self-sacrifice is implied, through all of the activities which her mother gave up, as represented by the ‘high-heeled red shoes’ which become a child’s toy rather than a fashion accessory.
Memory and imagining the past
The poem is filled with a sense of nostalgia as the speaker imagines a time before she was born. She looks back at her mother’s youth with longing, trying to picture a version of her mother she never knew—a young, vibrant woman full of joy and freedom. The poem reflects on the power of memory and the way we reconstruct the past through stories and imagination.
Freedom and restriction
The poem contrasts the freedom and excitement of the mother’s youth with the more restricted life she leads as a parent. The young mother is portrayed as someone who danced, laughed, and took risks, but this carefree existence seems to end with the birth of the speaker. Duffy subtly suggests that the mother gave up some of her independence and spontaneity when she became a mother.
Identity and change
A key theme in the poem is the transformation of the mother’s identity over time. The speaker contrasts her mother’s lively, glamorous past with the reality of her life as a mother. Duffy examines how becoming a parent can reshape a person’s identity, highlighting the sacrifices and changes that often come with motherhood. Another poem which also explores the complexity of mother-daughter relationships, and the change in identity which mothers experience, is ‘Catrin’ by Gillian Clarke. Catrin is not part of the relationships anthology, but is a great poem for wider reading.
Quiz
Before You Were Mine by Carol Ann Duffy
Test your knowledge of the poem Before You Were Mine by Carol Ann Duffy
Comprehension Questions
- What is the significance of the title “Before You Were Mine” in the context of the poem?
- How does the speaker describe her mother in the first verse? What imagery is used to convey this?
- In the second verse, what does the “ballroom with the thousand eyes” symbolise?
- What does the speaker mean when she says, “I’m not here yet”? How does this reflect her relationship with her mother’s past?
- What does the speaker recall about her childhood in the third stanza, and how does this connect to her mother’s past?
- Explain the metaphor “your ghost clatters toward me over George Square” in the third stanza.
- What do the “high-heeled red shoes” mentioned in the third stanza symbolise?
- How does the speaker describe the lessons her mother taught her on the way home from Mass in the final stanza?
- What is the effect of the phrase “Cha cha cha!” in the fourth stanza, and how does it contribute to the overall tone of the poem?
- How does the poem explore the contrast between the mother’s life before and after becoming a parent?
- Which poem from your anthology would pair well with ‘Before You Were Mine’ for a compare and contrast style essay? Mind map the similarities and differences between these two poems in terms of their language, structure, form, context, content and how they explore the theme of relationships.
Both poems explore themes of family relationships, memory, and loss. Duffy reflects on the bond between a daughter and her mother, focusing on the speaker’s nostalgic longing for the vibrant, carefree version of her mother before parenthood. Heaney, on the other hand, recalls his relationship with his mother, capturing his grief after her death. Duffy’s poem is more about the loss of a version of the mother that the speaker never knew, while Heaney’s deals directly with the grief after a death. Structurally, Duffy’s poem is more fragmented, with shifts between past and present, whereas Heaney’s poem is more emotive, grounded in the speaker’s memories of specific moments with his mother. Both poems mourn the loss of a mother.
Long Distance II by Tony Harrison
Both poems explore the themes of family relationships, memory, and loss. Duffy’s poem focuses on the speaker’s reflection on her mother’s life before she was born, presenting an image of a time when her mother was free from the responsibilities of parenthood. In contrast, Harrison’s poem deals with the speaker’s experience of losing his father, who had continued to mourn the death of his wife for many years. Both poems explore the emotional complexity of family bonds, a sense of loss, and ways of remembering or reimagining the past. Both poems highlight the enduring impact of love and loss, but Duffy’s is more about the passing of time and the speaker’s imagined relationship with her mother, while Harrison’s deals with the painful reality of losing a loved one and the difficulty of moving on.
